5 years since dads death, 5 lessons learned.

Today marks five years since my dear dad passed away.  Five years?! To say it's been an easy five years would be a complete lie.  But to say that the last five years have been completely miserable would be a lie, too.  I've experienced tender mercies of the Lord all along the way.

Since it's been five years, I want to share five important lessons I've learned since my dads death.

God loves us perfectly

"Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely.  Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly.  Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely."

- Dieter F Uchtdorf

I often hear of people who, once something bad happens in their life,  blame everything on God.  They truly believe that if such a thing could happen in their life, then God must not love them.  I am here to tell you that that is a complete lie! I see how the easy way out for me would have been to believe that God didn't love me, because if he did, then he would have let my dad stay here with me.

Before I was faced with this trial, I thought I knew that God loved me.  But, I have never felt Gods love more in my life than when my dad passed away and the years that have followed.  God is very sensitive to our feelings, and cares about us more than we can even comprehend.   

Tender mercy after tender mercy occurred in my life as well as my families life during the past 5 years.  I cannot say enough how much God loves me. 

Take away message:  Bad things don't happen to us because God doesn't love us.  Often times bad things happen to us BECAUSE God loves us.  Bad things happen to good people. What matters is how I personally choose to show love to those around me and most importantly to God.

The veil is very thin

"In the Gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that.  When disappointment and discouragement strike... you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see, riding at reckless speed to come to our protection."

-Jeffrey R Holland 

I know without a doubt that my dad is very aware of me now more than ever.  He is still very involved in my life.  If there is anything I've learned over the past five years, it's that he is very near!  I have felt his presence on a few occasions and more recently have felt him helping me through some of life's challenges, that only he would truly be able to recognize.

One of the most difficult parts about losing my dad as of late, is that he isn't here to be a grandpa to my kids.  But, I KNOW he is aware of Baylee and that he loves her.  I know that he knew her before she came to earth and that he helped her get ready.  I am grateful that all my future kids are spending time with their amazing grandpa before they come to earth. 

Take away message:  Our loved ones that have passed on are not far from us.  In fact, they are very near.  Never doubt the help you can receive from those close to us, but that are on the other side of the veil.  Pray for the opportunity to recognize these special moments.

I am strong

"Challenges help us become more like our Father in heaven."

-Richard G Scott

After losing my dad, I didn't really know how I could possibly go on.  I didn't know how my mom, brother and I were physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually going to go forward in life.  But, somehow you do.  You move forward, you grow and learn.  I realized that there was no reason to be sad and dwell on the situation at hand, but to become better because of it.  

I realized that there is nothing in this life that I cannot handle.  Anything thrown my way may not be easy, but I know I can do it.  I realized my own strength and the strength of my family.  My dad would want us to grow, learn and become more like God.  I believe we all did and still are, but most of all I think we learned how strong our family ties are.

Take away message:  Never underestimate the strength from within.  God does not give us anything that we cannot handle.  God will always be there to help strengthen us when we are weak.  But most importantly he will cheer us on when we believe in our own self and prove the strength we have already inside us.

Families ARE Forever

"What matters the most is what lasts the longest and families are forever."

- Russell M Ballard

I remember sitting in sacrament meeting a few short weeks after my dad passed away and the song, "Families can be together forever" was the closing hymn.  To say I bawled through the whole song is an understatement.  The lessons I had learned from sunbeams all the way up to Relief Society had taught me that Families can be together Forever.  This seemed like such an amazing gift, but until I lost my dad i didn't fully understand.  The spirit spoke to me that day that I would be with my dad again someday. This beautiful truth gave me so much peace and joy!  

Take away message:  Families can be together forever, dependent on how we choose to live and conduct our lives.   I hope to live in such a way that I can be with him again someday!

I NEED God

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.  He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, and pour out peace."

 -Ezra Taft Benson

I need God every hour of every day.  With him I am strong!  He has helped me overcome my trials, given me comfort from the Holy Ghost, poured out blessings and much, much more.  Without God I honestly would be nothing.  He has helped me become a much better person, and more importantly is continuing to help me become a much better person.  

Take away message:  We all need God in our lives to overcome all of life's struggles.  It is the only perfect way to live this life.  If we truly allow him to be there for us, then we can find joy even in the darkest of times.

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I am so grateful to God for helping me to become a better person during a difficult trial, like losing my dad.  It didn't come easy, and it didn't come over night.  I am far from perfect, but am learning each new day how to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ.  To show love to all those around me.  I can now say I am grateful for many of the trials I have faced, because they have helped me to become a better person, they have uniquely shaped me into the person that I am.