Ever since I can remember, I've been competitive in nature. I loved to play in a good game of soccer or softball and experience that feeling to be the very best I could be, to prove what I could do. I loved to run a race against my friends, and even if I didn't win, still feel the need to push myself to be the best I could possibly be. I loved to plan, prepare and do the things I had been taught during practice and then to actually execute what I had learned during the game. When I was young, the two people I wanted to prove myself to were: my mom and my dad. I wanted to be proud of my accomplishments and I wanted my parents to be proud of me. Nothing mattered more to me than to make my parents proud. Probably more than I cared about what I thought, as long as they were proud then that was enough. Many people like to say that being competitive is a bad thing, but I don't agree with that. As I've grown older, I've learned through trial a...
Today marks five years since my dear dad passed away. Five years?! To say it's been an easy five years would be a complete lie. But to say that the last five years have been completely miserable would be a lie, too. I've experienced tender mercies of the Lord all along the way. Since it's been five years, I want to share five important lessons I've learned since my dads death. God loves us perfectly "Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." - Dieter F Uchtdorf I often hear of people who, once something bad happens in their life, blame everything on God. They truly believe that if such a thing could happen in their life, then God must not love them. I am here to tell you that that is a complete lie! I see how the easy way out for me would have been to believe that God didn't love me...
Ever since I can remember, I've had anxiety. Even as a small child I can remember having fears, insecurities or doubts. This was just a part of Courtney and I didn't know any differently. Although it has always been a part of me, it's still one of the hardest things I've dealt with as a child, teen and into adulthood. BUT I NEVER knew panic attacks until I was dating the man I would eventually divorce (here's your sign.) But, I didn't understand what they were. I had heard of them before, but didn't know that's what I was experiencing. I thought I was just weird & tried my best to play it off and ignore it. I already thought I was defective enough as a woman, that these panic attacks just proved that even more in my mind. I already had low self worth, low self esteem and low confidence at this specific time in my life that these panic attacks just escalated those feelings for me. Who in their right mind would want a girl that every single ...
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