The speaker didn't work!

To you, the person reading this:  Raise your hand if you've ever allowed fear to immobilize you and keep you from moving forward in life?  Raise your hand if you have ever allowed your fears to keep you from reaching your full potential?

We all have fears, don't we?

Last year, after my little boy was born, I really thought life could not be more perfect!  I had my two kids, they were healthy, they were happy... life was good.  Until a few weeks had passed and I became super sick.  I had some major health issues, including horrible pain in my back.  I just chalked it up to that, "I had probably tried to do too much" and went on my way.  Well, the pain not only didn't stop, it got progressively worse!  That's when I decided it was probably smart to head to my doctor.  They took a few quick tests.... to which the doctor basically came running back into me and said (in her own words), "If you do not get to the ER right now, you WILL die!!!"

Wait, what??

Imagine the shock and horror I felt as I sat there and looked at my sweet newborn, my 3 year old daughter and my husband.  I could not believe I had heard these words.  It was a complete out of body experience, "did I really just hear that?"

Even though I dealt with some issues health wise for the next few months... probably the worst part of it all was the fear I felt each and every day.  I wondered if I'd really be OK. I really had lost a lot of faith and hope at this point, because I was allowing myself to give into the fears.  I knew what I needed to do, it was just the doing it part that was proving to be difficult.

 

I believe and know that there are so many more people in the world who are SO much stronger than I am!! We really never know what is going to happen.  We never really know the magnitude of trials that people are facing each day. We never know what the future will bring.  If this trial that I faced has taught me anything, it's that no matter what, always share your love with those around you.  Never let something that was said or done offend you enough that you cut someone off.  Always express your love, always give that person a hug, always give a kind compliment.  We never know when our last day will be, or when their last day will be, but we can make each and every day count starting right now.  We ARE alive today, and that is something. 

 Gordon B Hinckley has said, "There is no obstacle too great, no challenge too difficult, that we cannot meet with faith." 

I decided to start consciously choosing faith, and putting my trust in God that all would be well.  Whether it was my time or not, He is the one who knows what is best for me and my life!  He had never let me down up to that point, and I knew He wouldn't let me down now. 

God has to continually teach me this lesson.  That his will is better than my own.  Have you ever seen the picture of the little girl holding her teddy bear, so tight and lovingly??!  God asks her to trust him, and behind his back is an even bigger teddy bear for the little girl.  This is how God always works.  His way is always the better way, no matter how hard it may be to trust and see with our eyes that don't really "always see." 

I was able to go speak and sing to a group of women just this past week. ((Which I LOVE to do, if you'd ever like me to come do for your event too ;)) I shared about this very topic, fears.  Do you want to know what one of my fears is?  That my speaker won't work or shut off when I'm doing one of these events. No, seriously. I use the same speaker every time to play my music while I sing and up to this point, it's worked perfect! Well, guess what happened this time that has never happened before?  You guessed it, the speaker didn't work!  On the exact day I was sharing about fears. 

I should have allowed this to stop me in my tracks and immobilize me, right?

How could I be preaching about not allowing fear to stop you, and allow this moment with the speaker to stop me?  It was a true test in that moment to see what I'd do.  Instead of allowing this fear of mine, (and a true reality at that moment) to stop me in my tracks and immobilize me and send me into a panic attack, I remained calm.  I said a quick prayer, turned on the song and played it right off my laptop.  It wasn't perfect, it wasn't as loud as I'd have liked it and it wasn't how I envisioned the day to go, but it was just fine.  And it proved my point probably more than anything else I could have said that day!  

Basically what I'm saying is that when "your speaker doesn't work" face your fears with faith, allow God in your life and trust Him, knowing that everything will work out for your good!  

It may not always be how we envisioned our life to go, but I truly believe it will be better than we envisioned it to go.  It may not look that way now, but years down the road when we look back on our lives, we will see it with clear eyes and know that He was always there beside us.